i know it sounds a lil absurd to be blogging here when i have my own blog, but i guess this is the only place where i can burst out everything, without anyone to interfere or criticise. i have been entangled in this bizarre love triangle for quite some time. i admit that it's solely my decision to drag myself into this endless pit. i have the courage to start both, i never have the courage to end either. i asked upon myself the reason why am i hurting people; occasionally, possible answers will pop up, seemingly to tell me that i am not who i was anymore. and then tears will steam down my red cheeks. it is very obvious that i have become a selfish and shallow person. most of the times, i cry for myself. i am convinced that whatever i have done, the feeling of guilt and lost all come back to me. and then i would believe that i am sinful and i should be left alone for good. you're right bee. the longer time i take, more doubt would i have. so many times was i touched by your moves, reciprocal actions that you did in the past would surface and make me stay away from you again. alternatively, as i spend more time with him, i can feel the relaxation that i should have in a relationship. but all things change when it comes to quarrels. he starts to force me to do things outta my will. i know that his actions do make sense, i.e. deleting your number and stuff, but deep down in my heart, it will never come from me. you, has never let me feel that hurt that you've once given me. no more. but i'm still worried. i know it's been so unfair for you all these while. i understand that nothing is fair to anybody right now. can i let you go? once i let you go, will you come back to me?? can i let faith and fate to decide our destiny?
xiaohai killed @ 8:05 AM
the genius
Xiao Hai
20M
090688
18 xiao yi he corp.
P.D.D Team Leader
just a normal guy with normal problems.
loves/hates
loves my bee..everyminute..everyhour..everydayy.. =)
