Sunday, June 28, 2009
how come i've got this impending feeling that the decision will be heartbreaking.
will the pills be enough to ease my torment?
or will i be consumed by the overwhelming depression?
Saturday, June 27, 2009
i can't sleep again..
tmr's sunday...
sigh..
Friday, June 26, 2009
When the rain comes down..i'll wait for the sun to shine.. when the sun shines.. i'll see the rainbow..
we were as one baby. for a moment in time.
and it seemed everlating. that you would always be mine.
you will always be a part of me..
i'm a part of you indefinitely..
cos i know in my heart baby..
our love will never die..
and it'll linger on..
time can't erase a feeling this strong..
no way you're never gonna shake me..
inevitably.
you'll be back again..
cos you know in your heart baby..
our love will never end..
girl you know you can't escape me.
darling..cos you'll always be my baby..
can see the skin peeling??
here's the lotion.
one of the rare times this week i get to sleep for a while..
the pillow just can't replace you..
he's really sleeping..-.-
again..
fun times working..
so i'm in the AYG security team.. first day on weds..we had some lecture about how the game's gonna run and stuff.. then on thurs we went out to some forest in singapore to test the comms.. because the guy said when u're not in urban area..you'll easily get disoriented..and the comms won't work so well..so yeah..but we were briefed.. on where our cp was..i was security 2 =)
Head Security: Security 1,2,3,4,5,6 come in.
S1: roger.
S2:loud and clear
S3:reporting
S4:roger
S5:loud and clear
S6:reportin in.
after a while in the stupid forest..
S1:S1 to HS there is a gang of dogs barking at me..they look like they're going to attack me..
HS: S1 roger that. don't make big movements just stay calm.
HS: HS to S2 can you go and support S1. I will make my way there also.
S2: roger that sir..
so i went to help this bugger.. ke lian him..got 6 dogs surround him by the time i reach.. then i just like throw stones..then the dogs slowly dispersed.. so i went back to my cp..
after a while.. ~~~~~BOOM!
one durian fell just 1 foot away from me.. i got shocked..
S2: Err..S2 to HS i almost got killed by a durian. requesting permission to change area.
HS: the durian big or not?
S2: (i was like -.-") as big as your head.
HS: i'll come there..
so he came..blah blah blah..too many to write already.. -.-" lazy..
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
www.where-you-be.blogspot.comsoley for the blogger.
xiaohai killed @ 12:30 AM
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
well..for the record..i didn't take any girls numbers...nor have i spoken to any other gerls except you.. my mom..silver..and my madam if u consider them girls..heck you can even check my phone if i got any other girls number..or u can keep it for one week to see if got any other girls msg me or call me...just want you to believe me..but i guess you can't ...i hope you do though..
i love you..
you love me..
we're a happy family..
with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you..
won't you say you love me too..
silver's song..so cute..
it's a meaningful song too...
hahaha..she saw alfa photo..then she say "botak hair!" lolls.
hmn..i don't want to have to try, to live without you in my life.. let's just be a happy family..i can't imagine what it'd be like without having you around..it pains me when we can only talk like that..
i hope you can see that i'm really trying to be a good boy..to stop talking to other girls and stuff..i just hope that you'd believe me..i know that it is not easy for you..but i'm trying..trying not to hurt you anymore.. trying not to keep on hurting you again and again.. i'll be going to the asian youth games from tmr..thurs..friday..sat..and next monday...as part of the security team.. just for your info..so you know where i'll be.. i wish i can see you..and hear your voice again..and i hope you'll come back..because that's all i ever wanted..
Sunday, June 21, 2009
no matter what i'm doing your image just keeps on appearing in my mind..
no matter how hard i try my eyes just refuses to close.
sleepless nights..one night..two nights..
p.s. the pink book expires on tues..please return it before that..
Saturday, June 20, 2009
met up with bee just now at bishan..
had a short walk..
he called...
she suddenly snapped..
now..i think i'm her most hated person in the world..
brought her home..almost..
saw him...
saw her..
she ran..
i gave chase..
she talked...
i was lost for words..
she left for home..
he wanted to meet me..
so i went..
thought maybe he was crying or upset..
saw him at hk cafe happily with his frens like as if nothing has happened..
chatted with him..
he said he's glad that it's finally over..
he said i should go for her now..
i said i was upset..i didn't know what to say to her..
i said i would want to go for it..but it's ultimately her choice.
he said he was happy..and that he would not want her to contact him anymore.
he also said he's not gonna look for her..
i said i'll wait for her to call..
if she wants to call..
he said that he's just playing with her..
i was angry..but i didn't say anything..
i just kept quiet like a coward..
he talked quite abit..
high and mighty about how he has many other girls outside..
after that we talked about other topics.. and we left..
i thought to myself..i shan't trust his words so much..
i know him...what he says to me will be totally different from what he says to other people..
but i'm angry..how come he's the one feeling happy and i'm the one feeling gloomy when it's supposed to be the other way round??
he image keeps appearing in my mind..even now.. i thought about it.. i want her.. she said before "bee..if one day i abandone you..don't abandone me kae.." i won't..i won't abandone her.. i love too much..i intend to keep the promises i made to her in the photo album..
lucifer..am i a monster?? if you could talk what would you say to me?? would you console me?? would you scold me?? would you like everyone else tell me to forget about her??
sometimes i wish you could talk..but thanks for listening luci..
-suaidi-
Friday, June 19, 2009
if i should die tonight, and the reason remains unknown. tell not the whole world but the one i love, that i died of a broken heart. not because she love me too little, but because i love her too deep.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
don't know what is happening to me..i was happy initially..but now i'm upset..dono whatever for..
sigh. life's like this.
can see the skin peeling??
here's the lotion.
the pillow just can't replace you..
he's really sleeping..-.-
again..
fun times working..
